blueswater (blueswater) wrote in atkins_daily,

Tales of an addict

This is pathetic, but I thought I would share my story incase anyone else has this problem. My family has about a 90% alcoholism rate on my dad's side. Really and truly. Most marriages end up in disaster, the holidays are a travesty. For myself, I had a real problem with alcohol in high school and college. I gave it up by smoking tons of pot for a few years, which didn't have the same addictive properties at all, so, when I wanted to quit it was no problem. Basically, for the last 13 years I have lived an outwardly normal looking life. No drug use and normal use of wine or beer, like one with dinner, and that's it. On the inside I was The SUGAR ADDICT FROM HELL. I couldn't not think about it, and ate a ton of sugar. The first time I went low carb, 5 years ago, I controlled my sugar use enough to get within about 10 pounds of my goal weight, but felt cravy all the time. Anxious, jittery, etc. Well, I lost control and gained a bunch of weight, had a baby, and tried for the last 3 years to get back on, but couldn't do it. I couldn't make it through a single meal. But, I did work on myself in other ways, and I am in a much more mentally healthy place now. I have been on my diet now for 5 weeks and feel great. Cheating doesn't even sound good. I am not needing to use artificial sweeteners this time around. I have chocolate in the house and forget that it is there. The one thing I did differently was follow an amino acid course, based on the book "THe Diet Cure" By Julia Ross, Which addresses the need to fix brain chemistry for people with the type of genetic background I have. I did it this summer for about 6 weeks, and felt much better. She recommends doing it longer, and I might try it again after my trip this week. It made me feel like I could live without substance abuse. While I was on the amino acids, I tried to binge on chips and dip and couldn't get a rush at all. So, the amino acids seems to fill the brain back up with the good chemicals it needs, so I can feel normal. YAY!!! The reason for this somewhat embarrassing tell all? Does anyone else out there have addiction issues? How do you cope? Because, I feel great now, but want to be prepared for a time when I feel like throwing in the towel. Any comments would be aprreciated.
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